euphoria

Lorraine: What does euphoria feel like to you?

Coi: Euphoria is a feeling of extreme satisfaction and happiness to the point that one’s skin can tingle and any tension will dissipate. Dysphoria can be described as the opposite, a state of unease and dissatisfaction in life. For transgender people, body dysphoria is something that is very common, which is a feeling of never feeling at home and that something is wrong. As a trans woman, model and artist, I emphasize further education for everyone—but especially doctors and insurance companies—so transgender people can get critical treatment earlier in their life and increase the chances that they’ll feel happiness and satisfaction in their own bodies. For most transgender people, having the ability to feel comfortable in your body can be just as important as walking or breathing. Unfortunately, the majority of the world holds them back from taking the steps reach happiness. It can be hard for many cisgender people to understand from a trans perspective, but I can say that getting sexual reassignment surgery is just as important as treating a broken limb, although insurance often only covers physical brokenness.

Studies in Europe are now showing MRI brain scans that monitor gender specific-patterns in response to pheremones. This kind of research can show that transgender people's brains match the opposite sex’s brain characteristics, which goes to say that what is needed for them to get through their lives happily is not just a whimsical desire.

Lorraine: What are the most powerful symbols of your femininity?

Coi: For most my life I wasn't able to express my femininity because my school and family took my feminine clothes away from me. I was never able to express myself and my happiness in my childhood dwindled. Now I enjoy expressing it in bold in-your-face ways such as wearing the eye catching color red or being very extravagant wherever I go. The way I express myself now is something I never thought would be possible ten years ago, which shows that things are getting better but are sure as hell not perfect. Compared to the majority of transgender people in the world I am enormously privileged and am grateful to now be supported by my family and peers.

Lorraine: In your experience, what has been the best form of support from people around you, as you continue striving toward being able to express yourself freely as an artist and feeling euphoric in your body?

Coi: What has helped me reach any euphoria in my life has been my ability to reclaim my body from what society wanted it to be to what it needed to be. I won't be able to experience it fully until I get sexual reassignment surgery, and some trans people will never reach any kind of height of happiness, which explains the high depression and suicide rate of transgender people. With further education on this subject I know every person, even trans people, can experience feeling at home in their bodies… and euphoria. Teach yourself about the trans experience, and believe us when we share with you.

See more of Coi on Instagram: @_coifish